Help a Girl Out

24 Mar

Today we opened the last wedding gift.  Fourteen years, eleven months.  It is an electric skillet that I thought we had but could never find since we moved into this house in the fall of 2000, eighteen months after getting hitched.

Turns out we did receive said item as a wedding gift.  Saturday I was looking for something in the weird, dark corner cabinet.  I found the popcorn popper that hasn’t been used in over a decade (because I forgot we had it).  Same for a beautiful crystal bowl that is probably the nicest thing we own.

Which leads to my request for assistance.  If you have math skills, you realize that a marriage for 14 years and 11 months is coming up on an anniversary divisible by five.  It wouldn’t be a huge deal but for two things:

1. The ten year anniversary was hands down the worst year of our marriage, so I’d like to replace all memory of it.

2. The not giving gifts thing.  Remember that?

I don’t know what to do.  I’d have us go on a trip.  But here’s a depressing fact for you: we have no one to watch our kids.  No one.  I take that back.  No one at all near us.  Someone in Maryland would watch them but we’d have to take them to Maryland.

I have no ideas.  My father once told me that the best gift I could give Todd would be to change my last name.  I asked Todd if this was a secret wish.  Before he fell on the floor laughing, he said that it had never once crossed his mind.  Which is part of why I married him.

Inspire me dear readers.  I’m serious here.  I need help.  Don’t make me ask twice.


3 Responses to “Help a Girl Out”

  1. Liz March 24, 2014 at 3:03 pm #

    I already told you I would watch your kids. Get them to Utah. They will be watched.

  2. spanishjenna March 24, 2014 at 5:20 pm #

    Bring your kids to Maryland. Bring them, bring them, bring them. There are lots of fantastic places in this neck of the woods and you wouldn’t have to see your kids.

  3. Hilary March 25, 2014 at 6:18 am #

    The beach usually works out well for you guys. The kids could play in the sand and you and Todd could make up love poems or you could go to a NASCAR race, bring ear protection. (Hilary)

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