Tangentially Related, Really

6 Dec

I have been having pain in a few joints for the last couple years, nothing big but still noticeable.  Namely my right big toe and my left thumb and forefinger.  I’m pretty sure it is the start of arthritis.

But, in my weird sub brain, I’m pretty sure it is bone cancer in my toe.

“Eliana, that’s quite a leap, why would you think such a thing?”

Thanks for asking.  When I worked at Vista Alternative High School for three years, I read countless reports about Bob Marley, icon of the stoner student.  And do you know what did Mr. Marley in?  He cut his toe and they discovered that he had cancer.  And then he died shortly thereafter.

Which leads to the second part of this story.

Yesterday I got offered a job at Vista.  I moved to Yuma to teach at that school.  It is my favorite, though imperfect, place.  This is the perfect job.

The problem is, over the past month I have felt very strongly that I should not get a full time job.  This has been a weird feeling because I wasn’t looking for one or even praying if it would be a good move.  I think of it as an Answer Before the Question.  Because I almost started laughing yesterday when I had this job offer conversation.  If I hadn’t had this feeling before, I would have said yes immediately.  It would work out, I could make it happen with rides and kids and whatnot.  But I didn’t, because I had this answer in the back of my mind.

So I’m thankful this December day for a Heavenly Father who has greater vision than I, even if it is confusing.  And I’m trying to not be sad about passing up an opportunity that I would really like.


2 Responses to “Tangentially Related, Really”

  1. kristine December 6, 2013 at 10:23 pm #

    Not that I’m surprised at all, but good for you! I can only imagine the amount of faith it is taking for you to proceed in a way that is in accordance with your feelings. What a selfless and courageous thing to do. You are an amazing woman!

  2. spanishjenna December 7, 2013 at 6:15 pm #

    Good for you. I’m wishing some higher being would just write this last paper of this semester. Can you not pray for that to happen so it will?

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