Peaceful, Easy Feeling

30 Dec

I have been a bit unsettled for the past six months or so.  Not at peace inside myself is the best way I can describe it.  Then I went to visit my grandma staying with her daughter, my Aunt Becky.

It was quiet.  I can’t really describe it, except that I felt calm.  Unworried.  OK.  My kids were there, my cousin and aunt with mental handicaps were there, Todd was there, but I felt alone in the world in the best possible way.

We had two nice days.  The boys rode horses.  They played in a lot of dirt.  I chatted.  I sat.  I didn’t fret.  I’ll be going back.

Nothing in my life has changed.  I still don’t know what my purpose is; I still hate how fat I am; I still worry about money; I still have a husband who doesn’t love me.  But I feel much better.  It was good.

Little house of happy

The Grandma (93) and I (34)

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3 Responses to “Peaceful, Easy Feeling”

  1. kristine December 30, 2011 at 9:15 pm #

    I am glad you were able to find peace, but am seriously hoping you are being sarcastic about what is “wrong” in your life. You deserve to be happy!!!!!!

    • eliana23 December 31, 2011 at 11:48 pm #

      well…

      • liz January 16, 2012 at 10:01 pm #

        eliana, this blog post is horrible! if todd doesn’t love you, you should address that immediately!!!! you deserve to be happy and wear hot boots for someone who appreciates you!

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